Thought I would try something different today.

There will be no editing…no spell cheque (aren’t we Canucks cute with our random ‘u’ placemeunt?)…and I have about 30 minutes to complete today’s Wank Wednesday and Wanton Wednesday work.

A surge of thought must come.

…anytime now.

…will happen soon.

…oh look, peanuts.

Yeah, this isn’t going to work.

Opposite of the blood surge causing a penis erection, thoughts tend to run away from the brain at the most inopportune moment.

If only we guys thought with our penis…then again, it probably wouldn’t be as hard.

I love double entendres.  Have I ever mentioned this?  Go back, and read the line before this and…oh…never mind.

Considering most of my readers seem to be women…I suspect they’re all fixated on the erect penis image by now.

The thought of watching the flaccid member as it slowly goes from peachy skin (or ghostly white in my case) to a rouge…as it warms and hardens to the touch.  You know they’re wanting to play with one now.  Lightly with the hand just to see how hard they can get it.  Quickening the pace of their fingers as the guy whispers, “Don’t stop.”

Then, of course, they stop.

Probably hungry now.

See, they’re licking their lips.  Every last one of them.  Apparently a few of the guys are doing the same…nothing wrong with that…I just don’t swing that way.  Those that do…God bless ’em…being the atheist that I am, I hope I have not just insulted the world wide gay population with that.  It sounds fucking funny in my head, though.

I don’t know, guys, guess we taste good or something.  Maybe we should just grab the remote and see what’s on TV while they taste it and…see, the tongue always has to lick it like ice cream first.  Must like the warmth on the tongue, or something…

Oh look, a hockey game is on.

We’ll just let the women continue…Toronto Maple Leafs are playing the Florida Panthers tonight, so just *gasp* ignore them.  Beer anyone?

Perhaps a more important question…why the fuck does Miami still have a professional hockey team?  I mean, really!  In Miami ice is meant for drinks, not for goalies to mark up the goal crease in.

Sorry…my bad…got a little excited about the wrong thing and now all the women seem annoyed.

Oh…and the surge of blood seems to be lessening.  DAMN!

Where’s the Viagra?

Need to get their blood surging as well…and probably should turn off the hockey game to do it.  Etiquette is apparently important and celebrating goals is likely not proper etiquette when in the missionary position.

Mind you, there is always the prostitution euphemism about “multiple shots on goal“, so maybe hockey is the right sport to have on during sex.

Probably not.

Football?

Who am I kidding?  Where’s the condoms?

Anyone up for that orgy?

Wait…is this entry long enough yet?  Much as I want the orgy, I do not want to leave my readers wanton…and let me tell you, from experience, I cannot type my usual 120 wpm during an orgy.  Think I am usually down to about 3 wpm.  Might have to test this theory.  I do know, for certain, I have a much easier time keeping my Blackberry 60 wpm going…something about portability, I guess.  Much easier using the Blackberry while a woman is riding or blowing…

…or is it sucking?

I know some comedian asked, but shouldn’t it be a suck job?  Or a lick job?  Well, we have hand jobs and foot jobs…so perhaps a mouth job or tongue job or tonsil job.

How freaky would a nostril job be?

And I think Carlin was right…

“Do you know why they call it a blow JOB?  So it’ll sound like there’s a work ethic involved.  Makes a person feel like they did something useful for the economy.” – George Carlin

Funny how cunnilingus isn’t nicknamed with the word “job” involved…likely we men wouldn’t want to do it, then.

Anyhow…’tis now 19h20 Eastern Standard Time and I must off.  I shall be back shortly, but do not start the orgy until I return…this will be fun…there will be cum…let the blood surge!

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