Scissors by Ed Schipul
Initially written on January 16, 2014

I know…I know…you were all expecting the continuation of The Evolving Atheist in the same tone as the rest…but this one is different.

As I begin typing this one out, this was not what I expected either.

The waiting room is rather dark and mysterious feeling. Although, considering what they do in this place, my own gestalt may be adding in the mysterious. Truth, however, as one in the designer side of the construction/millwork community…they should have done better than this.

Funny, on Twitter earlier today I was having a discussion with @mollysdailykiss about how the UK is moving towards educating acceptable sexual practices using shame and guilt. This place smells of shame and is a place to hide. Not sure I like the vibe I am getting. It is silent except the tapping of keys by the receptionist behind the dark wall and an occasional child walking down the outside hall from one of the other doctor offices on this floor.

So, what am I doing today? What is all the fuss about?

I will tell you.

Today I sit quietly waiting for my initial meeting with the doctor.

Yes, it is time.

Four kids between @StrandedGF and myself…my two teen daughters and her sub-ten boy and girl…so we have done our duty of keeping the human race going, no?

This plus, given the choice of how invasive my having surgery would be compared to her, well…there really is no debate as to whom should get snipped.

My understanding suggests this meeting will simply be options. With scalpel, scalpelless, or castration.

So, this ongoing saga will be a subset of The Evolving Atheist as I report of my pending vasectomy. This is another of those taboo areas that few men speak openly about.

Not certain, but could be done before I get to Eroticon in March, even…but will know more in just a few moments.

As already stated, the decor and ambiance are not good.

The place needs a calming serene atmosphere to it. The dark lighting works…typical clinic bright lights would be awkward here. This is the medical clinic equivalent of a paper bag used to carry porn magazines out of the corner store…back when we did not have the internet. With darker lights the place draws much less attention.

Yes, we did that in the 80s and early 90s…though I suspect some of you do not believe me.

If I put this place together, however, some light jazz or even classical music would be piped in. Not the usual Muzak shyte, but Beethoven or Chopin would be wonderful mixed with a few tunes by Sting or even Billy Joel. I might suggest Sarah McLaughlin…but we should stick with male vocals.

Also, the waiting room needs more space. Maybe even a gaming console…okay, that might be a bit much, but something to distract. And, for the record, a gaming console with, perhaps, a car racing game would be a much more acceptable than my next suggestion…a fully stocked bar.

The doctor has just come down the hall. It is my turn next.

And it was…it seems, my assessment of the design of this place is shared as it is only a temporary home for the clinic until mid-February.

The doctor is very pleasant. Very thorough with all the warnings.

He spoke of everything from what happens, how it happens, side effects and even what happens if I ever want to reverse it.

On that last point…his advice…”Don’t.”

This place only does scalpelless.

They did offer me February 3…and I was rather tempted to take it. However, due to our upcoming schedules, the earliest I can do this is February 24. Not certain, but it will be better to wait until after Eroticon. Nothing to do with the conference, but more about how to deal with complications should they arise two weeks later when traveling.

So now, being we get back from the UK on March 11 and I do not go back to work until the following week…I will push for the Wednesday upon our return. With a few extra days off of work to recuperate, it feels best.

He did say I will require an athletic support…a cup.

Really?

Last time I wore one of those I was twelve and playing little league in Denver.

Yes, another revelation…I played little league baseball. No, I did not play it well.

All this plus no Aspirin the week prior to the procedure.

I can hear Carlin now going on about how we no longer have operations, we have procedures. Then again, Carlin would make fun of my baseball skills, too.

Part of this first meeting did involve my dropping trow. The reason was so he could check as to how easy it would be to work with my scrotum. He did pinch a little…which as I now sit on the subway bouncing home, I am still feeling…and prod about, but said that mine should be textbook.

In the morning I clean as normal. I get into the clinic. Do the PROCEDURE. Then go home and play Madden on my PlayStation for three days.

In a normal case, I should be normal-ish by that weekend.

But what is normal?

I hope he is correct abd my case is textbook. One problem both the doctor and I laughed about was how when one in the thousand has something go wrong that is always the guy to document it…not the 2,999 that had it go right.

Truly I want to document mine as it goes right.

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