One thing that I despise is celebrity culture.

Amanda Palmer Neil Gaiman polyamory ethical non-monogamy

When I was really young, Star Wars first exploded through cinemas and I had my first tastes of pro sports. Back then, I cared. I wanted to know what Mark Hamill was doing, I wanted to watch Chico Resch or Craig Morton practice, and I had a massive crush on Lynda Carter.

Things were different back then, however. In the early 80s, Entertainment Tonight was just starting out while TMZ and Twitter still a quarter Century away.

Since then, the combination of paparazzi and social networks combining in the age of acceptable Big Brother has left us with a ridiculous level of gotcha journalism. We now know too much about celebrities. These are just people who often have pretty faces. Many have little to offer us other than some charismatic smile that makes them seem worthy. These folks are just as flawed and fucked up, if not worse, than the rest of us. The old power corrupts cliche comes to mind.

When it comes to polyamory and the celebrity articles I find, I’m mostly horrified. These are, generally, not people who should be leading the way in such ideals. Their lives are far from ordinary. Those of us normal folk exploring polyamory simply cannot trust these people to relate.

But then there is the exception and, from what I’ve seen, there is only one.

Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman celebrate their eighth anniversary today.

In one tweet, Amanda spoke of it and used a single sentence that reminds me why I love these two. After she mentions their ceremony being serenaded by an accordion (that I assume was not played by Weird Al…dammit), she mentioned that they didn’t know what they were doing then and still don’t.

This is how the ethically non-monogamous lifestyle is. None of us truly know what we are doing.

Those of us seen as leaders can never tell you how you will experience any aspect of ethical non-monogamy. We can only tell you how we experience it, ourselves. No two people will feel it the same way.

With Neil and Amanda, they just are…or were. I can’t speak to what they are now, as I don’t know them. That said, they don’t go out and flaunt what they are for attention. Instead they both let their talent fly free as they explore their private lives more quietly.

This is not to suggest they hide it, as there is plenty written on them…but they don’t preach. Monogamous, polyamorous, or whatever, this is how celebrity culture should be. Intelligent and talented people who do what they do and live their lives without having to always tell the rest of us what they’re doing and just how good they are.

I do wish Amanda and Neil a happy anniversary as well as many more to come. I know that when we get our Polytix Podcast rolling again, Laura will be overjoyed if we somehow ever got them to come on, but let’s be realistic.

They have their lives, as we have ours…and you have yours.

Go live it as you have to. Besides, it’s more fun not knowing what you’re doing when you have someone you trust enough to explore with.

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